Drunken cat-killer jailed for 14 months
[Hoopers girlfriend] received text messages from Hooper threatening to kill the cat. About 3.45am she heard a cat screech and went outside to investigate. Hooper had dealt the cat two heavy blows to the chest and neck with an axe, severing its spinal cord. It died.
Hooper then went inside and the pair had a fight, culminating in Hooper hitting his girlfriend with the glass top of a coffee table. Hooper told police he was “really drunk”. The pair remain together.
The pair .. remain together. Yeah, obviously.
Can any female readers of my blog give me some fucking insight into her mindset here? You, yourself, might not have been in this sort of position, but I’ll bet you know someone who has at least.
If this was my girlfriend, the phrase “so fucking dumped” wouldn’t even begin to cover it. I would plot, and extract, revenge. They would, in all seriousness, Rue the fucking Day. Until they died, or I did. What I would NOT do, is keep going out with them, possibly while saying things like: “It’s _just his way_. He loves me really. Who _hasn’t_ killed the pets of those they love with an axe? I can _change_ him, I’m _sure_!”
I want to kick this guy in the balls RIGHT NOW, and it wasn’t even MY CAT he killed.
January 23, 2008 at 4:01 am
The girlfriend was 17. The boyfriend was 43.
This doesn’t suggest to you some impairment or dysfunction on both their parts?
And yeah, I want to remove this guy’s balls with an axe.
January 23, 2008 at 5:53 am
Yup – it’s unlikely to be the 17 year old girl who has the power here.
January 24, 2008 at 3:54 am
Can’t we just go Old Testament on him… Eye for an eye, beheading for a beheading? It’s fair.
And yeah, she’s 17, and he’s 43 year old violent a-hole – that’s your answer right there. I’m betting he “loves’ her so much he’d want to kill her if she left.
January 23, 2008 at 4:12 am
If he’s willing to kill her cat what might he do to her if she were to piss him off enough? And mightn’t leaving constitute pissing off enough?
January 23, 2008 at 4:19 am
oh man… I just…. arghhh
I don’t think I could stay with someone who killed one of my fish let alone someone who killed a cat!
But, of course, being drunk *is* a good excuse for most behaviour, eh?
January 23, 2008 at 4:25 am
There’s a psychological phenomenon, very common in spousal abuse situations, known as “excited misery” in which one or both partners actually see the drama of an abusive relationship as positive evidence of passion.
A friend of Annette’s almost left her current husband after they’d been together for a year or so, and she couldn’t put her finger on what was missing from the relationship to make her dissatisfied. What was missing, she realised, was that he didn’t kick the shit out of her every second day, and their relationship was therefore less “exciting”. Fortunately, she’s a sensible woman and when she did figure it out she decided that a caring and supportive relationship was better than a destructive and abusive one, and they’re still together after 20-odd years.
People are strange. Very, very strange. Young people are often both strange and dumb as a stump.
January 23, 2008 at 4:39 am
hell I’ve _lost_ more than one partner to this phenomenon.
I being a very peaceful and calm person have had 2-3 GFs leave me because I wouldn’t get angry when they wanted a fight.
Apparently getting angry and breaking things is how you show you “care”. (I’ve been told this to my face as well.)
One even told me to my face that I wasn’t “dramatic” enough for her and she wanted more “excitement” in her life.
She went on to date a line of boys who emotionally abused her and stayed with each of them longer than she did with me.
Go figure.
January 23, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Hell, I’ve heard that, too. And you can imagine how freakin’ buggery-fuck nuts someone has to be when they look me in the eye and say “no really, you’re not dramatic or argumentative enough”.
January 23, 2008 at 6:57 am
Serious Rue-age in store for that man…..grrrrr
January 23, 2008 at 7:02 am
btw I like to think of myself as a fairly calm, rational human being…..and defusing situations before they occur strikes me as sensible…..
however, if anyone were to proceed as this man did, and target my cat……I doubt I’d be able to restrain myself from attempting serious harm/maiming of said person. If I had time to deal, I’d plot a revenge so damn evil and terrifying in its complex simplicity, angel would weep.
Still with him? the mind boggles
January 23, 2008 at 8:49 am
Can any female readers of my blog give me some fucking insight into her mindset here?
She reacted that way because she is fucked in the head, not because she is female.
Please don’t lump me in with her because we both have ovaries.
January 23, 2008 at 10:04 am
This particular fucked in the head-ness does rather, based purely on personal observation, tend to show up in the lay-deez, so I’m going to stick to my guns.
It might speak volumes about gender-power-balance-paradigms and suchlike, but I have known or been aware of many women who hang around guys that Give Them The Bash, but I neither know, nor have been aware of, ANY guys in the same situation. That is, I _do_ know guys who’ve been socked one by their partners – but in all of those situations it’s led to the guy going “WTF? YUO = TEH DUMPED!” – I know none that have hung around afterwards.
Or do you mean you, personally, would not put up with that? Because if so, that wasn’t my intent to suggest – I merely thought that you are in a better position than Male readers to suggest WHY they might put up with that shit.
January 23, 2008 at 10:20 pm
I don’t have time to dig up the stats right now but the number of women who are murdered shortly after leaving abusive relationships is staggering. And when there is a power imbalance of that sort the woman may well be short of financial resources and estranged from family and friends. Therefore she feels (and may well be) safer IN the relationship than leaving it until she has a very solid getaway plan.
January 23, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Yeah, I don’t get people who say ‘but why doesn’t she just leave him’IF the relationship is long-term and established. Even if you’re not estranged from your family, you’re endangering the people you run to, and a man who’ll smack you won’t hesitate to smack your mother. I’ve seen this first-hand.
When I was sixteen, I was having an argument with my boyfriend and he hit me. It was the first time he’d done it, it was obvious he’d just completely lost control and y’know, he was only sixteen. He apologised profusely, swore it would never happen again. And the apologising sounded SO much like my father I dumped him on the spot and walked out.
January 23, 2008 at 11:01 pm
There is a psychological phenomenon known as capture bonding, related to Stockholm syndrome, in which people become attached to their captors no matter how badly they’re treated. It’s hard-wired into brain chemistry, the theory being (I’m short on time to chase links right now) that it evolved to protect the sanity of women who were taken in raids from their own tribe/family group. It takes a while to set in, to allow for the possibility of rescue.
You can sort of see the same kind of thing more commonly in children, who will continue to seek parental attention even if that attention is negative.
So yeah, okay, could be she’s too scared to leave him, could be she really genuinely has a deep chemical response to his behaviour.
I think men do have something similar, but it’s less about physical power and more about mental and verbal. I’m talking about men (and I may or may not be specifically thinking of a particular individual that I may or may not have been married to at some point) who repeatedly seek out extremely domineering women. They might not get physically beaten or threatened, but rather constantly told what to do, pushed around and demeaned – because they actually find this reassuring, comforting, easier than making their own decisions, and they have a deep chemical response to that kind of treatment.
And y’know… then there are women you couldn’t dream of telling what to do because they’d verbally hacksaw your arm off, but who have a deep visceral sexual response to being physically hurt.
I hear.
January 23, 2008 at 11:35 pm
I’ve heard that also.
January 24, 2008 at 3:52 am
Too scared to leave? It is bloody hard to leave an abusive relationship.
January 24, 2008 at 3:56 am
Yes. Very true.