The chances of anything coming from Mars...

Chris: ha! latest news from the phoenix lander on the soil samples…

Chris: “Sam Kounaves, the lead investigator for the wet chemistry laboratory on Phoenix, told journalists: ‘It is the type of soil you would probably have in your back yard, you know, alkaline. You might be able to grow asparagus in it really well. … It is very exciting for us.'”

Chris: why… asparagus??

jsr: Maybe he likes asparagus?

Chris: that’s not possible.

jsr: Maybe he knows something we don’t! … Something … about asparagus!

Chris: haha “all earthly asparagus is actually a dumb decendent of the master race asparagus on mars.”

jsr: That’s why we see them traditionally as little and green.
jsr: And now they turn their attention to Earth. And they see our asparagus roll-ups. And they are ANGRY.