Mid afternoon today, I phoned my friendly and excellent mechanic (since he’s now back from holiday), and I said “I’ll bring the car in tomorrow morning, it’s started sort of juddering and wobbling a little bit, and the juddering increases with speed. I’ve checked the tyres and I don’t see anything weird.[1]”
On my way home late this afternoon, I am ignoring the wobbling and (as is my custom) singing along with songs on my phone, when the following happened:
“I try to discover …”
[judder judder]
“… a little something that makes me sweeter ..”
[judder JUDDER judder]
“… oh baby, refrain … from breaking my heart…”
[JUDDER judder JUDDER RUMBLEJUDDER]
“… I’m so in love with….”
[BOOOM TWAP TWAP CLONK THWAP CLUNK THWAP GRONK THWAP] … [The hyperdrive malfunctioning noise from Empire Strikes Back goes here]
And then I had a hilarious wait at the side of the motorway armed with my spare tyre and jack and jack-handle but amusingly without a tyre iron (oh my sides) until the AA dude showed up with his slight smile and his infuriating air of casual competence and a whole range of goddamn tyre irons.
[1]
“I check the tyres for anything weird.”
“Okay, roll the dice.”
“I rolled a one. That’s good, right?”