Sometimes, things unroll before you with a certain hilarious inevitability. For example, Greenpeace, as part of its efforts to track endangered whales, has decided to name one. And they’ve turned to the Internet to communally, democratically, granola-eatingly select the name from a range of options. These options include the usual My Heartfelt Emotions Are On My Sleeve Let Me Show You Them choices like “Aiko” – which means ‘little love’ in Japanese, “Cian” which means ‘ancient or enduring’ in old Irish, and “Sedna” – is the name of the Innuit goddess of the oceans. Sheesh.
But there’s another choice, that they threw in just “for fun” from the original source list of 100,000 or so names.
It is “Mr Splashy Pants”
And here’s the problem with internet-based selection. I, and everyone else I know, voted for Mr Splashy Pants as a name. And so did every other grinning bastard with a browser and an somethingawful forum account.
As of my writing this, Mr Splashy Pants has 68% of the vote, and the next closest choice is “Libertad” at 3%.
Be sure to register your vote by going here and clicking on “Vote For Your Favourite Name” in the right-hand sidebar.
Because if the Japanese kill Aiko the Whale, there will be a general “Awww!” from all the usual places. But if they kill “Mr Splashy Pants”? Then they’ll hear about it.