My old car (A 1994 BMW 318i hatchback) has, recently, developed some issues. Issues such as “The inside of the door fell off” and “Many electrical things don’t work” and “The brakes sometimes don’t work on the left hand side of the car” and the most recent niggling little issue, “Instead of starting up when you turn the key, the engine just makes a noise like “Brup” and then nothing happens.”

So, I decided to pull the trigger on a new car. Here it is:

BEHOLD! The 2003 BMW 745i! An automotive classic! Not really! But it’s way nicer than my old car!

It’s a four door saloon, which means I can put Willow in the back without having to mess around with putting the front seats up and down. It’s also a 4.5 liter V8 which is… actually pretty excellent. It goes like stink. It’s spacious, comfy, and generally an upgrade to the old car in all things. It was also surprisingly inexpensive, though I may change my mind on that when I’m looking at the bill from BMW for brake pads made out of Selenium, Myrrh, and the Dreams of Righteous Men.

The one thing, so far, that irks me is the iDrive system. It’s old enough that it doesn’t understand what an iPhone is (or an iPod, for that matter) which is annoying enough, but the really terrible thing is how it looks. Which is: Like Ass. Car manufacturers should maybe just not be allowed to make software UIs. Ever. Because, apparently, even really big car manufacturers are terrible at it, and can’t be trusted to do it. I’d like to find whoever allowed the iDrive UI out of the door, and ask them some pointed questions.

Willow 100% approves of this car, especially since she found out that she can stand on the center console and stick her head and upper body out of the open sunroof. I think I might only allow her to do that while the car is standing still, it’s probably not the sort of thing approved of by child safety advocates.