A scratch? Your arm's off!

So I drive home from work and go to park in my spot, and someone is in it. A couple, in fact. They’re sitting in their car, in my spot, looks like they’re talking. This sort of thing is not an infrequent event.

I honk my horn, and give them The Look. They look at me in the mirror, then go back to talking.

I hold down my horn for a more extended period of time. They look for longer, then again go back to talking.

I say rude words, park my car behind them and then get out and go up to their window where I have the following conversation with the driver:

“Could you move, please? You’re in my park.”

“No I’m not.”

“….Yes. You are. This is Park 53. That’s my park. I pay for it. You’re in it. Move.”

“I don’t see any signs.”

“Shit, you’re right. What we really need is a six foot sign that says in big red capital letters that this is 24×7 reserved tenant parking only, and that anyone else who parks here will be towed away! … Oh, wait! We have one! There it is! You’re parked RIGHT NEXT TO IT.”

“Well, I didn’t see it.”

[A few seconds pass, as we start at each other]

“Okay.” .. [I produce my phone, pretend to place a call.] “Hello, police? There’s someone on my property who’s refusing to leave, and I ..”

[She makes a modulated noise that’s a cross between “Gah!” and “Meh” and is commonly associated with rolling one’s eyes. Then she puts the car in gear and drives off. I park in my spot.]

I mean, seriously, What The Hell?

I understand that you may want to temporarily park in an empty spot if you need or want to talk to your passenger, and there’s nowhere else around. But if I call you on it, just move, don’t try to argue it out with me.