I thought I’d go see the Transformers movie.
A few of you are, right now, going “Well, Duh. You’re a geek. It’s a transformers movie. Of fucking course you’re going to see it.” except that you’re wrong – I could have given it a miss .. and may yet still.
The problem is that I’m an OLD geek. I’m closer to 40 than 30 now. When I was a kid, watching cartoons, it was the 70’s, not the 80’s.
I think the Transformers movie where Optimus Prime dies was relased in 1986. I wasn’t watching cartoons in 1986. At all. I spent much of 1986 either sulking my room hacking on pacnet with my Amiga and modem, avoiding my parents and wondering how other people at school managed to talk to actual girls without sounding like a complete spaz[1], sulking in the garage while tinkering with the engine of my car[2], or driving said car aimlessly around town at 3.00am[3] on a school night while obsessively listening to tapes of various bands whose names were prefixed with “The”[4]
Main point is, wasn’t watching cartoons.
So, to gear up for this possible Big Robot Movie viewing, I decide to illegally pirately download some communism in the form of classic transformers episodes and watch them. This was not a good idea. They suck. A lot. I’m pretty sure that even an 8 or 10 year old me wouldn’t have watched this. And I remember watching and liking Battle of the Planets, so you know it’s not good.
So, lesson learned. Not only should you not attempt to recapture your own youth, you shouldn’t try to retcon other peoples youth into your head.
And I’m still not sure if I’m going to go see the Transformers movie.
[1] Still don’t know.
[2] 1967 850cc Morris Mini, dark blue body, white roof, florescent pink wheels. Yes, pink. Shut up!
[3] Know what there was to do in Timaru at 0300 in 1986? Nothing. Except drive around randomly.
[4] The Jesus and Mary Chain, The Sisters of Mercy, The Smiths, and also featuring some misc non-“The” bands.[5]
[5] Dreadful 80’s pop bands like Duran Duran and whatnot. I’m not going to mention them.