I’ve had a couple of people ask me what I thought of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, and I’ve had to tell them that I hadn’t seen it, and had no plans to see it.
I disliked the books, you see. I didn’t connect with any of the characters, regardless of their status as pro or antagonists. The themes of the book (I’ve only read Lion Witch Wardrobe, none of the others) don’t connect much with me either – possibly because a lot of it is about sibling relationships, and I am a CLASSIC only child. I don’t even like Turkish Delight, so that pretty much seals the deal.
I’m also not sure about this “Aslan is TOTALLY Jesus OMG” business either. Sure, he dies and comes back, just like Jesus is supposed to have done. But hey, so did Jason Vorhees in the Friday the 13th movies. So did Leonard McCoy in “Shore Leave”. I’m not totally sure how that’s really so redemptive for mankind.
Hell, I’m not even sure why dying and coming back was such a big deal for Jesus in the first place. I mean, if you’re a man who’s also an aspect of the omnipotent creator of everything, what’s the big deal about dying and coming back? I’d want something much more impressive. I’d want him to, like, come back as The Hulk, and fuck shit up.
JESUS SMASH STUPID ROMANS! RARRRGHHHH!
So, no, this Wardrobe movie is not even on my list of stuff to download, never mind pay for.
Kong, however, I shall be attending. Oh yes.