“During lunch at Boston University, five girls ogled a 6-foot-7 blond senior with a winning smile and high cool quotient as he approached their table. He was cute, they agreed. But equally intriguing was his pitch.
“I heard this is amazing!” Pam Spuehler, a sophomore in general studies, said as she read a postcard touting the OneNote software program that Cody Gossett had handed her.
“It is,” Gossett said. “You should check it out!”
“I will!” Spuehler said. Then as she eyed the phrase “Save Trees. Use OneNote” on his chest, she added, “how do I get one of those T-shirts?”
The exchange was a corporate marketer’s dream — and one, in this case, come true for Microsoft Corp., which hired Gossett to peddle its notes-organizing software on campus.”
This makes my fucking soul hurt. I don’t really want to have to filter people I meet into boxes labelled “Real person” or “Corporate Lackey/Shill, Dead in Heart and Soul.”. But it looks like I’ll have to do so.
I need cameras hooked up to PDAs, and they need to scan the faces of people I meet, feed this info back into a database, and then we call all collectively rate people we know and produce a centralised FUCKING SPAM FILTER FOR ACTUAL PEOPLE.
“Hi, I’m Cody! Have you heard about the new Microsoft OneNote Servi…”
“Woah there! Sorry to interrupt you, but my service tells me that you’re a drone, and are to be shunned. SHUN!”
“But I…”
“SHUN!”
“But Microsof…”
“SHUN! Also, your name is fucking Cody. Jesus, grow a pair, will you?”