So, here’s a couple of conversations that happened while friends and I were messing around with Starship Artemis, a Star Trek style bridge crew simulator, where people each play the role of Helm, Engineering, Science, etc.

“Red Alert! RED ALERT! Everything’s Gone Red!”

“Oh shit, sorry, SORRY that was my fault, I pressed the Red Alert button, I didn’t mean to, sorry! Stand down! STAND DOWN RED ALERT! Back to Yellow or Green or something. That’s my bad. My bad!”


“Long Range Sensors indicate …. um …”


“I don’t know. They’re just dots. Like .. white.. dots.”

“Are they spaceships or enemies or…”

“I have no idea, how would I know? They’re just dots. But there’s four of them, and they’re incoming. So … so watch out, is what I’m saying.”

If there were a Star Trek show that included clueless assholes muddling through bridge operations and tabbing out from, say, the Helm controls to check twitter .. I would watch the HELL out of that show.