Oh No, It’s The Pigs!

I have a meeting on Wednesday morning at the headquarters of the Recording Industry Association of New Zealand. At this meeting I, in the capacity of an ISP technical rep, will be given a demonstration of the software the NZ rights holders will be using to identify infringement of copyright using peer-to-peer software.

This is hilarious. On many levels.

I intend to assure them that “I take copyright infringement pretty seriously”. This is totally true. On many levels.


  1. I assume this is how they probe/DOS/whatever networks, rather than software they insist you will run?

    • Yeah, this’ll be the software they run to identify potentially infringing shares for them, rather than software that the ISPs will use for anything.

      • I expect it’ll look like a bad 1980s computer system then! 🙂

        If it doesn’t beep while huge text appears on screen saying “Searching for Pirates” then it’s obviously a fake to distract you from the REAL software.


  3. Will you wear an eyepatch for the day and attempt to insert ‘Arrr!’ into the conversation? Maybe you could just address everyone as ‘Matey’.

  4. Make sure you have lots of questions. Mutter words like “entrapment” and “Privacy Act offence” and “Oh, what a quaint way to try that Ididn’trealizepeoplestillthoughtthatworked” while making notes of their replies. Ask really convoluted questions about accuracy rates and false positives. Ask really convoluted questions just to see if they have any fucking clue. Make sure you ask the person most clearly not up with the play. Invent shit.

    Then kill them all.

    Report back and post pictures.