I just watched the following happen with Annette playing “Saltcake”, her new Death Knight character in WoW:
“Saltcake gently pats The Lich King.”
After I stopped laughing, this made me think – I wonder if anyone, instead of saying stuff like “You’re a monster!” and “We will avenge your father!”, has tried just being nice to the guy?
“Arthas! Good to see you! Come on in! Have a seat by the fire, you look cold. No? That’s fine, old chap, no problem. Can I get you anything? Would you like a drink, or something to eat? … Souls? I’ll check the kitchen, but I don’t think we have any souls. How’ve you been doing? You look pale, have you been ill?”
On an unrelated note, I was up ’till around 0630 this morning – I had a killer headache all night, so no sleep, coupled with the awesome roadworks going on outside featuring the roller which, I suspect, was specifically tuned to operated at the exact resonant frequency of my apartment building.
I just opened a letter personally addressed to myself, which turned out to be from “Apartment Specialist” Daniel Horrobin, of Ray White real estate.
In this letter, Daniel has taken the time to “keep me up to date on our apartment market” despite my never having had dealings with him in any way. Isn’t that nice? That’s nice.
Daniel writes to let me know .. actually, there’s a couple of paragraphs of stuff, but it basically condenses down to “Real estate woo!” with a subtext of “Please select me as your real estate agent.”
Anyway, the funny bit comes at the end where, in an effort to assure you that stuff is actually selling, Daniel writes “I have included the most recent sales below.”
Then he lists two apartments that have sold in the last six months.
One of them is our apartment. It apparently sold in May of this year, an event of which I have no recollection.
To make this even funnier, this letter was mailed to me at our apartment.
The end result is that my initial zero level of interest in using this guy as a real estate agent is, as a result of his marketing efforts, now substantially less than zero. FAIL.
So, I’ve started playing Dead Space, for when Annette can’t (or doesn’t want to) play World of Warcraft.
I keep imagining a meeting like this:
“Ah, Mr Perkins! Come in, come in, we can’t wait to see your presentation!”
“Thank you. Gentlemen, I give you the USG Ishimura, the latest in the “Planet-Cracker” class of interstellar mining vessels. As you can see, the basic design of the ship revolves completely around compartmentalization of tasks, and as such we’ve structured our design so that the malfunction of a single tram, or door control computer, will turn the task of moving around the vessel into a process that is simultaneously as linear as a rail-gun and as convoluted as a Klein bottle.”
“I’m glad you appreciate how difficult that was… as you can see, decor throughout the ship, even in the crew zones, is based on a palette of textures and materials that we like to call “Rusty Metal”. All of these metals have been treated so that bloodstains will stick to their surfaces like crazy. Any crazed and/or disturbing messages that you scrawl on these walls using your own or someone elses blood, will stay legible for as long as you wish.”
“Excellent. A question, if I may. I’m concerned about the size and availability of the air vents. Can you tell us about that?”
“Of course – the air vents run throughout all areas of the ship, and are are about the size of .. oh .. about the size of an animated and deformed human corpse. Yeah. About that big.”
“Splendid. Now .. what about explosive barrels? Crates containing health packs and weapon ammunition? Are there … are there enough?”
“Gentlemen, there are shitloads.”
After a lengthy torr .. uh, acquisition, I have begun my Dragonball watching.
I fear I have set myself a difficult task. I’ve now watched the first few episodes of Dragonball (not DBZ) and it’s .. quite painful. I suspect a lot of that is because I’m watching the english dub rather than a subtitled original, and the dubbing is pretty terrible.
Also, I’ve spent pretty much from friday dinnertime ’till this morning playing World of Warcraft. I haven’t played WoW this hardcore since the last expansion, and before than since when I got the damn game. And I’m only a couple of levels into the new content. Some people were level 80 about a day or so after it was released! MADNESS!
I’m making a note here: Huge Success.
I am very very glad that I live in a time where I get to seriously say the phrase “I’m just downloading an update to my ocarina.”
So long, Winston.
Be sure to let those bastards know if you need a helicopter for the ride home, yeah?