Mate, we call him The Steeeg.

I’ve just watched a trailer for something called “Top Gear Australia” which shows three Australian gentlemen drivin’ about in cars, crashin’ into things, makin’ sarcastic comments to each other, etc.

Towards the end of this trailer, superimposed text says something like “Over 1,000,000 Australians regularly tune in to watch Top Gear” and goes on to say of their localised version that “The Wait Is Over”.

Thing is, I’m pretty sure that over 1,000,000 Australians tune in to watch, you know, the actual Top Gear, with Clarkson, May, and their pet Hamster. I’m equally sure that the overwhelming majority of these people are not watching this show and saying “This is quite good, but really I am just watching and waiting for a local licenced knock-off.”

I will watch an episode of this show purely because it has the Top Gear name on it, and I freakin’ love Top Gear and want to go around to James Mays house and spend time with him making stuff out of Lego[1] but my expectations for this show are not high. So much of what I like about TG is wrapped around the presenters personalities and interaction – if you try to picture the show without that, you end up with Fifth Gear. And no-one wants that.

[1] If he doesn’t want to play with Legos, other options include Making A Fort[2], talking about motorcycles, and consuming alcoholic beverages. Or all of the above.



  1. Seriously seconded. I feel much the same way about the Australian version of Empire magazine – it’s so provincial it hurts. The UK version is utterly fab.

  2. Totally agree – I’m pissed off by *all* the Top Gear knock-off shows.

    The good news is that Top Gear UK is going on tour, and will be doing a show in Auckland. m/
    Would sell my firstborn, and possibly some internal organs to get tickets.

  3. So basically you’re looking for a little bromance with this James May person.

  4. No gurls allow’d? You’re not bloody having the Hamster then.

  5. Ugh. I don’t watch Top Gear for the cars or even the crashing into stuff. I watch it for the sarcastic englishmen.

  6. While I enjoy Top Gear enormously, and like May and Hamster a lot, so often I find myself wanting to punch Jeremy Clarkson in the nuts. Nevertheless the show wouldn’t be the same without him, the arrogant cock-faced bike-hating git.

  7. If they catapult cars into caravans… I’ll tune in.

  8. 1. Fifth Gear is balls.
    2. All the UK presenters rule the school and I would totally invite them round for a dinner party.
    3. Vroom vroom!