Shaping up to be a fine day

Up at 0600, so I can get to work for 0645, to make a customer-impacting network change at 0700 hours.

A change which, annoyingly, didn’t actually work. For reasons which escape me at this time, but which I will be spending the rest of the day digging into.

On an related note, my already light motorway traffic is, at 0630, invisible. Would that every commute was that awesome. It’s not worth having to get up early for, but it’s pretty excellent, and especially good considering that last night was apparently Auckland’s semi-regular “How Many Dudes You Know Drive Like Dis?” inconsiderate driving contest, sponsored as usual by the asian driving council[1] but featuring very strong entries by everyone involved.

We had the usual solid performances by various drivers in various set pieces including “I think you’ll find the speed limit is a maximum.”, the classic “You can turn from any lane, right?” and the traditional Auckland regional favourite “In-dee-cay-tor?”

But on the day, there can only be one winner, and a couple of runners-up. Here they are:

The bronze medal goes to Dark Blue Panel Van for “I need to unload this stuff on a street with no parking areas, so I guess I’ll just stop in the middle of this lane full of traffic and slowly unload it.” A classic little number, and very well done. Bonus points for “I’ll switch on my hazard lights so that the vast number of cars I am holding up are fully aware that I know what I’m doing is retarded and pissing them off, and that I don’t care.”

The silver medal goes to Hello Kitty Dashboard Doll Celica, for her graceful performance of “I can totally park my car in this space that is 2/3 the size of my car, if I just keep shuffling back and forth, in and out of traffic.” Truly breathtaking. Or, at least, I was out of breath from screaming expletives, but whatever.

The gold, however, must go to MG Convertible for his superb and unusual “X-TREEM Parking” move, where he had positioned his car in a roadside parking spot so that the ass end of his car had both rear wheels touching the gutter, and the front was sticking out into traffic and blocking an entire lane. Bonus points for talking on his cellphone and ignoring the many .. many .. horns being sounded at him. Additional bonus points for having the balls to glare at people as he finally left, instead of hiding his face in shame. Double-extra Bonus Points for owning an old MG and wearing string-backed driving gloves and one of Those Hats when it would be easier to just write “Wanker” on a post-it note and stick it to your forehead.

Kudos to you, sir. Kudos to you.

[1] I’m not sure what the driving culture is like in Japan, but I am guessing that Japanese people are vastly more tolerant of others than non-Japanese are, or at least, more tolerant than I am.


  1. I now commute for many hours to and from work, living in Albany and working on St Benedicts St. I have become even more intolerant than I started, but it is mostly the arrogance of other drivers that annoy me. The people that think they can fit in the queue and end up blocking an entire lane for one set of lights, don’t get it the right lane and then drag people off and swerve in front of them or don’t let others merge because they’ve been crawling in traffic FOR HOURS, so I’m not doing them any favours! I just sit back, shake my head and let the little scamps turn into the on ramp, besides, I’m in no hurry.

  2. I’m not sure what the driving culture is like in Japan, but I am guessing that Japanese people are vastly more tolerant of others than non-Japanese are, or at least, more tolerant than I am.

    The driving I saw in Japan was indeed very tolerant. People changed lanes and turned in front of others and stopped randomly all the time, but it didn’t cause problems because nobody got annoyed about it. I don’t know how relevant that is here, though, as our Asian population is predominantly Chinese. I have no idea how people drive in Shanghai 🙂

    I think you need to calm down a bit, an extra 10 seconds waiting for someone isn’t going to appreciably delay your day…

  3. I found driving in Japan better than here. Generally motorists are more tolerant. In Nagoya people don’t muck about, some drive very fast and do not appreciate being held up, however unlike here this is done without aggression. One thing that really stood out was speed and the enforcement of speed limits. On a road with a posted limit of 60, it was no uncommon for the traffic to be moving at 90 or more, it was not a problem. The police drive around with there light bar flashing which apparently is just to raise their visibility; it is disconcerting to have one behind you.

  4. In my experience…

    the Japanese are fine drivers, if only because they are predicatable. And as was pointed out, in NZ they are a small minority, compared to the vast swathes of Chinese, Taiwanese, and Korean drivers who are, if you’ll pardon the expression, fucking retards that deserve to have their vehicles surgically inserted up their arses. Sideways. With the engines running and in second gear. IMHO.

    That said, they are all somewhat better than American drivers who, as far as I can tell for the Midwest at least, believe that moving closer to Jesus is an activity that everyone should be encouraged to engage in.

  5. …I catch a train. 🙂