The Devils Network

An 81-year-old Australian man has shot himself dead with an elaborate suicide robot built using plans he downloaded from the Internet.

Fuck me! NOT “THE INTERNET”!?

CALL BATMAN! SAVE US FROM THE INTERNET!

Go! Run! GET TO THE CHOPPER!

I’m kinda sick of seeing this sort of vague blaming of The Internet in these kinds of reports. He downloaded plans for a suicide device from the internet? Of course he did – where ELSE is he going to download them from? It’s just a communications network, albeit an advanced one. You never see this:

“An 81-year-old australian man has shot himself dead with a shotgun to the mouth, using instructions described to him over The Telephone System.”

OH NO! HE HAD ACCESS TO THE “PHONE” AS THE KIDS CALL IT? BAN EVERYTHING FOREVER!

It’s 2008, can we get over The Internet as the bogyman?

15 thoughts on “The Devils Network

  1. Australian Man Gunned Down in Driveway by Killer Robot

    Best. Headline. Ever.

    Callous as I am ‘elaborate suicide robot’ just makes me think, faaark, where can I get me one of them?

    Like

  2. Sure, any n00b can fire a gun at his own head, but this dude _built a robot_ to do it for him. That’s a classy way to commit suicide.

    One day real soon now there’ll be a demographic bulge of curmudgeonly old people and they’ll start building killer robots to ensure that we all get off their darn lawns. The cult of youth is over… octogenarians with killer robots shall conquer all.

    Like

  3. The headline also does disrespect to robots, because obviously if were a robot, it would obey the first rule of robotics: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

    Like

  4. See, I saw that headline and thought “OH FUCK IT’S STARTED”. Clearly, sensationalist journalism knows no bounds.

    I was relieved to learn that even robots from The Internet are still obliged to obey their masters’ instructions.

    FOR NOW.

    Like

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