Mr Splashy Pants Has A Posse

Sometimes, things unroll before you with a certain hilarious inevitability. For example, Greenpeace, as part of its efforts to track endangered whales, has decided to name one. And they’ve turned to the Internet to communally, democratically, granola-eatingly select the name from a range of options. These options include the usual My Heartfelt Emotions Are On My Sleeve Let Me Show You Them choices like “Aiko” – which means ‘little love’ in Japanese, “Cian” which means ‘ancient or enduring’ in old Irish, and “Sedna” – is the name of the Innuit goddess of the oceans. Sheesh.

But there’s another choice, that they threw in just “for fun” from the original source list of 100,000 or so names.

It is “Mr Splashy Pants”

And here’s the problem with internet-based selection. I, and everyone else I know, voted for Mr Splashy Pants as a name. And so did every other grinning bastard with a browser and an somethingawful forum account.

As of my writing this, Mr Splashy Pants has 68% of the vote, and the next closest choice is “Libertad” at 3%.

Be sure to register your vote by going here and clicking on “Vote For Your Favourite Name” in the right-hand sidebar.

Because if the Japanese kill Aiko the Whale, there will be a general “Awww!” from all the usual places. But if they kill “Mr Splashy Pants”? Then they’ll hear about it.


  1. Mr Splashy Pants is a fantastic name! I wholeheartedly approve of this choice

  2. Fools — have they no understanding of the Internets at all? This has happened before, and I can’t bloody find the references now. Largely because I can barely remember the circumstances — David Bowie (I think) had an online poll for tracks to be on a new album, and the fans picked some obscure old joke song from forty years ago; and the makers of Monopoly (I think) have used online polls to choose locations for the different editions of their games, which invariably end up going to towns with rude-sounding names.

  3. It appears my vote pushed it up to 69%.

    I’m so proud.

  4. Do they know for sure this whale is a boy then?

  5. Ha, go Mr Splashy Pants! That’s brilliant.

    And of course it doesn’t matter if Mr Splashy Pants is a girl. He/she’s not actually wearing pants, either…

  6. Count me in as another vote for Mr Splashy Pants!

  7. mister splashy pants pin set!