Accio Failure!

“Wizardry book in school library upsets some parents”

I thought this was going to be a Harry Potter bitchfest, but it wasn’t.

Wizardology: The Book of the Secrets of Merlin, was checked out of West Haven’s Molloy Elementary School library by Cary Alonzo’s eight-year-old daughter. “Well, it has pentagrams in here. It has how to cast spells with actual spells to say and recite,” said Alonzo. The book even has a few tarot cards … “At this level, they’re young, they’re very impressionable,” said Alonzo.

The book, of course, is a bit of fluff about magic, played straight – much like The Flight of Dragons, for example.

I’m not sure what this woman is complaining about. Is she pissed that her daughter tried the spells and they didn’t work? What was she expecting?

“My daughter drew the sigils as described, and yet no creatures from beyond brought her a live pony and a pretty princess dress. I was going to ask for a Dale Ernhardt Collectable Plate of my own, when she was done.”

I guess that’s not likely. So is she mad because her daughter cast the spells and they did work?

“There’s a pony in the upstairs bedroom and there’s no way to get it down without breaking through a wall, but I guess that’s OK becuase all the drywall is bleeding black satanic ichor anyway, and have you tried getting brimstone smell out of carpets?”

I guess that’s even less likely.


  1. D’uh… she should know that bicarbonate of soda and lavendar oil gets brimstone odour out of carpets!

  2. Gosh, it’s almost like it was some sort of… pretend fantasy make-believe thing. Obviously totally unsuitable for children.

  3. Shit don’t let her see the april fools day page on wizards of the coast about the my little pony d20 game, she’ll want that banned too.