Last night I went to the Hysteria bar on K road to see the Masters of Metal. I hadn’t actually seen this band before, but reviews from my friends were positive, along the lines of:

“OH EM GEE you haven’t seen MoM? [Throws up horns and assumes rock hero pose and 80’s falsetto scream] “You willll love iiittttttt-ah!’….”

So anyway, along I went. MoM are four dudes, probably around my age, fairly rotund gentlemen, dressed in 80’s metal clothes – heavy on the lycra and leopardskin, spiked cuffs, cucumbers down the pants and spiky codpieces. The hugely puffy fluffy wigs and occasional headband completed their various ensembles JUST SO.

And they brought the rock. Oh yes.

They played a whole bunch of 80’s rock and metal. And they played like MEN. That is, sweatily and with much grunting. I am sore in a variety of places today; my feet hurt a lot, from standing up for hours. My neck hurts from headbanging. Luckily my hair has grown back out far enough that I can actually throw it around these days. Even the horn-throwing muscles in my hands hurt slightly.

Hugely awesome. Highly recommend. I shall definitely be attending future gigs.


  1. In public, of course, I shall remain somewhat condescending and intellectually superior about The Metal. In private, I feel… envious. My secret shame.

    I haven’t been to a live metal gig in about a million zillion years, since Motorhead (sorry about the lack of umluts) were at the Chch Town hall. (They rocked, incidentally). In truth, I’m not the ideal metal-concert-goer, since I’m about 4’2″ tall and therefore spend a lot of time looking at some other guy’s leather-clad arse, or at the *very* best, the leather-clad arse of the girlfriend he’s carrying on his shoulders. It does have an ambience that I’ve never experienced anywhere else though. Dang.

    • MoM are not Motorhead. Motorhead are to MoM as Black Sabbath are to .. Bad News. MoM do not take themselves very seriously at all. However, they really did bring the Metal. Next time I’ll get pics.