And now, a stream of conciousness review of the movie 8 Mile, starring Eminem.

Okay, opens on eminem in the grimiest bathroom since Trainspotting. Everything is lit in green, because that keeps it REAL.

Rabbit/Eminem is in a rap battle contest. He chokes. He’s like the ONLY white face in the crowd, but none of them are kicking his ass because of his REALNESS. They mock him. He leaves, but he’s angry that he choked. He’s sensitive. And REAL.

Okay, so he has to move home with his mom, who is for some reason Kim Basinger. She’s living with someone he went to school with. Haw! He, his mom, and his little sister now live together in a trailer. Quite a spacious trailer, though. Everything here is also filmed in maximum grittyvision. Rabbit seems sad because he has a joe job, and isn’t famous and well-loved-by-all. This seems oddly familiar.

Now Rabbit catches a bus to work and writes rhymes about the urban decay he sees out of the bus window. They’re written in tiny tiny handwriting on loose papers he carries around. That’s pretty emo, right there.

After work, he’s out with his friends. They’re jammed in a car, and are driving around aimlessly. They have a paintball gun, which they fire at people. Rabbit is the most daring, he fires it at a _police car_. Now they’re burning down a house. An empty, abandoned house.

You know, what the fuck is this? Is this the movie trying to be both straight up gangsta’ AND preserve as low-age a rating as possible? They’re doing driveby shootings of cops, but with _paintballs_, they’re burning houses, but they’re _abandoned_ houses. Yeah! ….Stick it gently to someone man-ish! .. Irk tha motherfuckin’ po-lice! …. oh, whatever. On an unrelated note, this seems familiar … guy driving around in a car jammed with friends, listening to music, establishing character…..

Hah! Cameo from Xzibit! Here to Pimp This Movie. Rabbits new girl shows up during this and is so impressed at his battle skills, they have sex right there and then.

So now Rabbit is slowly pissing off and fighting with his friends, one by one. Man, this seems even MORE familiar now, for some reason.

Now Rabbit just broke up with his new girl, because he thought she was sleeping with someone else … actually she was … but mannnn, now this is even MORE familiar and I don’t know why… this is driving me crazy.

Okay, so we’re near the end of the film.. Rabbit has decided he’s had enough, and he’s going to get his shit together, no matter what cost. He’s re-uniting with his friends … there’s the girlfriend as well … now he’s about to go into battle….

He wins! The cocky antagonist gets his well-deserved come-uppance, and Rabbit steals the show and everyone applauds! He is beloved, and the villians depart in disgrace!

AHA! Now I know why this all seemed so very familiar!

If you take 8 Mile and replace rap with humour, you get nothing less than … Waynes World.