More like BOREdrobe, amirite? No? Ok.

I’ve had a couple of people ask me what I thought of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, and I’ve had to tell them that I hadn’t seen it, and had no plans to see it.

I disliked the books, you see. I didn’t connect with any of the characters, regardless of their status as pro or antagonists. The themes of the book (I’ve only read Lion Witch Wardrobe, none of the others) don’t connect much with me either – possibly because a lot of it is about sibling relationships, and I am a CLASSIC only child. I don’t even like Turkish Delight, so that pretty much seals the deal.

I’m also not sure about this “Aslan is TOTALLY Jesus OMG” business either. Sure, he dies and comes back, just like Jesus is supposed to have done. But hey, so did Jason Vorhees in the Friday the 13th movies. So did Leonard McCoy in “Shore Leave”. I’m not totally sure how that’s really so redemptive for mankind.

Hell, I’m not even sure why dying and coming back was such a big deal for Jesus in the first place. I mean, if you’re a man who’s also an aspect of the omnipotent creator of everything, what’s the big deal about dying and coming back? I’d want something much more impressive. I’d want him to, like, come back as The Hulk, and fuck shit up.

JESUS SMASH STUPID ROMANS! RARRRGHHHH!

So, no, this Wardrobe movie is not even on my list of stuff to download, never mind pay for.

Kong, however, I shall be attending. Oh yes.

7 thoughts on “More like BOREdrobe, amirite? No? Ok.

  1. land of the Narn.

    I last read the books when I was young, but I remember that I preferred the first book (The Magicians Nephew).

    The movie was very pretty and very well made, but it left me with the feeling that there wasn’t enough substance behind it. One of the first book->movie conversions I’ve seen where the movie included absolutely everything from the book and still didn’t really have enough to go on.

    The sacrifice thing annoyed me too. I remember as a child wondering what the big deal was. Aslan was clearly a god of some sort (he created Narnia), and even my 8 year old brain picked up that there was *no* sacrifice since he knew he was immortal. Same as that other fictional childrens story that still seems popular.

    – MugginsM

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  2. I mean, if you’re a man who’s also an aspect of the omnipotent creator of everything, what’s the big deal about dying and coming back?

    I think the people who make the biggest deal about it are often the ones who are most uncomfortable with how Jesus actually said peoploe should behave.

    I haven’t seen The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe yet either, but C.S. Lewis’s approach to Christianity was deeply humane, intelligent, and challenging. I’m glad if fundamentalists have picked up on it, because I think they could do with being exposed to a writer who believed in a merciful God.

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  3. The stories didn’t really capture my attention greatly, but I may well go to see it simply to look at the visuals, because I hear they’re very good and I do like cinematographic fireworks. Oh, and I also do LOVE Turkish delight. Mmmmmm.

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    1. I think the Narnia series is something you were either into or not, I think if I never read the books as a child I might not have a thing about them, in the same way I have a thing about some of my childhood toys and some of the arcade games I played when I was small, I will say TLTWATW is not the best of all the books.

      I definitely prefer The Magician’s Nephew and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader much more than that one, I will say one thing though re: the religious conotations, if the bible had been more like these books I would probably have been much more open to the idea when I was a child.

      All I can remember of the bibles effect on me as a child was to have major philosophical dissagreements with gods actions on a number of issues namely turning wossnames wife into a pillar of salt for some bullshit reason, I remember being horrified by that, oh and the trials the Job had to undergo I found replusive, and the concept that Job had to proove his faithfulness to god while god went about killing off his family, was supposed to be important.

      All I remember thinking was gods attitude to his family ie merrily killing them seemed to me to be such a disregard for human life that I thought god was a right cunt, and I never use that word.

      But I feel myself begining to rant so I’ll stop.

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  4. You didn’t miss much.

    I only went for political reasons. I thought it was quite ironic that Tim Barnett decided to use this movie as a fundraising event (for election 2008! Now thats what I call starting early) given what (some) Christians said about him last year. Oh and I also went to see if I could spot which one was Karl (failed in that respect).

    Speaking as someone who knows a bit about being in battle, the battle scenes completely sucked arse. They looked like they were fighting in slow motion. I guess when you’re making a movie for kiddiewinkles you’ve got to slow it down so they can understand who’s winning. Now the battle scenes in LotR on the other hand, _they_ were battle scenes.

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