Month: October 2005


I am growing my hair long again. It’s currently just hitting my collar and starting to curl back up, so it’s time to get the back bit tidied, before The Mullet can assume physical form, and start to amass power and influence and armies of Orcs.

I’m quite looking forward to having long hair again. I may buy another motorcycle and wear leather again, too. It’ll be hard to look after, but even since I cut it (and stopped with the leathers) people fucking TALK to me all the time. Like, in the STREET. Not just people, but Christians! I won’t stand for it.

This is, in fact, related to my previous entry on borg-like information swarming on corporate drones. It’s equally applicable to drones, godbotherers, commies and people handing out flyers for TimeCube-like wackassery. Hell, with good enough optics it could pick them out of upcoming crowds, and plot a course that avoids them all. I’d buy this. Today.


“During lunch at Boston University, five girls ogled a 6-foot-7 blond senior with a winning smile and high cool quotient as he approached their table. He was cute, they agreed. But equally intriguing was his pitch.

“I heard this is amazing!” Pam Spuehler, a sophomore in general studies, said as she read a postcard touting the OneNote software program that Cody Gossett had handed her.

“It is,” Gossett said. “You should check it out!”

“I will!” Spuehler said. Then as she eyed the phrase “Save Trees. Use OneNote” on his chest, she added, “how do I get one of those T-shirts?”

The exchange was a corporate marketer’s dream — and one, in this case, come true for Microsoft Corp., which hired Gossett to peddle its notes-organizing software on campus.”

This makes my fucking soul hurt. I don’t really want to have to filter people I meet into boxes labelled “Real person” or “Corporate Lackey/Shill, Dead in Heart and Soul.”. But it looks like I’ll have to do so.

I need cameras hooked up to PDAs, and they need to scan the faces of people I meet, feed this info back into a database, and then we call all collectively rate people we know and produce a centralised FUCKING SPAM FILTER FOR ACTUAL PEOPLE.

“Hi, I’m Cody! Have you heard about the new Microsoft OneNote Servi…”

“Woah there! Sorry to interrupt you, but my service tells me that you’re a drone, and are to be shunned. SHUN!”

“But I…”


“But Microsof…”

“SHUN! Also, your name is fucking Cody. Jesus, grow a pair, will you?”