Can’t Park There

Right, so.

Coming back from Wellington, car full of ex-Weta Digital servers that I’m gleefully taking back to Auckland.

The car in front of me is a bright blue hatchback, lowered, tinted windows, sticker on the rear window that says “Low Key” .. serious rice …and no licence plate at all. Contains one driver.

It’s being towed by a beaten-up white hatchback, no obvious rice. Contains one driver, one slapper in passenger seat.

Conditions. Rainy. Poor visibility.

I’m doing just slightly over 100kph.

These two cars are in front of me, and I’m not passing them. So they’re fucking hooning, for a tow job.

The dude in the white car goes slightly to the left of the lane. The blue car (being towed) simultaneously steers slightly to the right. Nothing too bad, yet. Just one of those towing things.

The driver of the blue car tries to manually correct his line to match the dude who’s towing him. The tow line is quite slack at this point. He overcorrects. Badly. His car veers quite heavily, and then his front tyres lose traction. At this point, he’s headed quite left and can’t do anything about it.

This situation lasts about 0.1 seconds before physics is demonstrated quite dramatically when the tow line straightens and that thrust vector (which is now about 30 degrees away from the way the car is actually pointing) is suddently applied by the still doing 100kph white car.

I’m actually quite surprised at this point becuse I was expecting the blue car to re-conform violently and straighten out, or maybe spin out.

But no.

The front end of the blue car dives down like it weighs NOTHING (more on this later), and the back end snaps around like a bola. Then the car is airborne. Sideways.

All this is in front of me, at 100kph, bear in mind.

By this stage, I am already on my brakes. Hard. It’s raining, so I’m trying to work out if locking the wheels and sliding to a halt will take longer than trying to fuck around with pumping the brakes. No time to think, and instinct takes over from rational thought. I lock the wheels and ride it out. Actually came to a stop several meters from anything, so it’s not so bad. And the servers are well-loaded, so no heavy frizbees to the back of our heads. Yay! Some flat spots on my tyres, but tyres are cheap compared to panelbeating, or to my life.

Anyway, this blue car dude goes sky ground sky ground a couple of times. Luckily for the other guys, the tow rope came off their hitch almost immediately upon blue car losing it. So, yeah, this guy flips sideways a couple times and ends up upside down in a ditch beside the motorway, half-supported by some farmers fence. The farmer in question immediately comes sprinting out of his house.

We pull off the road and get out to see if anyone is hurt or anything, and if emergency services need to be called.

The white car stops, and the people in it get out. The driver of the blue car hops out of the drivers door (which, again, is upside down on an angle) and climbs up the bank to the couple who got out of the towing car.

We ask if he’s okay, he says “Yeah, we’ll take care of it.”

He talks quietly to the couple for about 5 or 10 seconds, then … they all run for the white car, get in .. and fucking floor it! They did a runner!

And I’m like “Did they just do a runner?” and Annette is all “Yep.” and we’re totally confused because, fuck .. the guy left behind his WHOLE RICED UP CAR, man. And the farmer, and and the people from the car behind us who also stopped, and some other people ALL got the make, model, and plate of the white car (which were given to the cops). AND the cops, when the farmer rang them, went “Ah yeah .. we know the guy.”

What a pack of retards these drivers were.

And, to make it even better, I’m looking at the crashed car while waiting for the cops, and the engine bay is … empty.

No WONDER the damn thing cracked like a whip when the front went slightly wonky. What the hell were they doing towing an unbalanced load like that at over 100Kph?

What a pack of assholes.

This was a long journal posting/story, but an important one. And the moral of this story is: Don’t Be An Asshole.


  1. Most importantly, I’m glad you and Annette are ok.

  2. Hatesss teh Rice.

    That you didn’t get a server in the back of the head shows some sensibility when loading the car. Stopping in time = driving to conditions = knowing yourself and your car.

    Good to hear you’re safe.

    Also, when towning long-distance, use an A-frame or a car-dolly. Cheap to hire, and would never have happened.

  3. oh my gosh! i’m so glad you’re both okay! what fucking morons.

  4. Well, the one good thing that came out of this is that you have brilliant story to tell.