Month: July 2004

Tiny Tiny Laptop


This is a picture of a test laptop that crossed my lab bench today. It’s the silver thing sitting _on top of_ my regular old Dell laptop. A CD has been included for sizing purposes.

Teeny! But it has built in ethernet and usb and a VGA port and it has sockets for a Compact Flash device, and a SIM card slot so you can do GPRS from it. Very cool.

More 80s.

Other 80’s songs are now being pondered.

9 to 5.
Eye of the Tiger. Though that got used in an excellent recent starbucks ad, so maybe not.
Tainted Love.
Eye in the Sky.
What a feeling (from Flashdance)
Total Eclipse of the Heart.
Love will tear us apart. Because Dream and Death are such mopey/perky goths, respectively. Except that this only JUST makes it into the 80’s. Just. So maybe not.
Sunglasses at Night.
We Built This City.
Summer of ’69.
Walking on sunshine.
You give love a bad name.

I might be over-thinking this. My first two picks were Come on Eileen and The Safety Dance. I should probably stick with them.


So, I’ve been letting my subconscious mull over what to do for my very first effort at a short film. I had some criteria worked out, namely that it should be very short (since I have zero experience in these matters) with a simple script, combine a couple of cool concepts that have not been combined before, and be appealing enough to geeks around the world to encourage them to get their bittorrents All Up Ons and actually download it.

So, this morning, an idea pops into my head.

I want to do an alternate music video for a classic 80’s anthem, only the band in the video will be composed of members of The Endless, a set of deities/demi-urges created for Neils “Sandman” comics.

It’ll be short (around 3 minutes), it’s interesting to me (as 80’s music and 80’s comics, indeed all comics, are two of my pet geekisms), it’s visually a treat which means it’ll also let me play lots of games with cameras and lighting, it combines two cool concepts, and it’s probably a must-see for fanboys if I do it right.

The lineup I see so far has Dream as lead vocals, Death on Bass (of _course_), Destruction on drums, Desire on Lead guitar and Delirium as Backing Vocals. Destiny and Despair are, respectively, Lighting and Sound engineers.

I can do the whole thing in a club setting (which I have access to, cheap) and with sandman-fanboy-goths as the crowd (which I also have access to, free).

I think it’s doable. I’m going to get some of the visual elements I have in my head out into a more permanent form now. Like Despairs hand, with her hooked ring, adjusting a slider on the sound board. Or the billboard outside that says “The ENDLESS – Tonight! And every other night! Forever!”

Not sure what to use for the song, though. It has to be something that’s totally 80’s. I’m thinking either Come On Eileen or Safety Dance. Though I’d also REALLY like to see Death sing “Angel of the Morning” – perhaps I’ll put a few seconds of that in at the end of the divx, as an easter egg.

I think it’d be fun, and _funny_. But feedback is welcome.

Start Wreck

So, I stopped watching “Star Trek: Enterprise” or “Enterprise” or “Enterprise Trek: To The Stars” in the middle of Season Two, once I realised that I had seen about thirty episodes or so, and still couln’t remember what anyone’s name was. And that furthermore I didn’t much care.

Which doesn’t bode well for Entrekterprise, because I watched all of Voyager for chrissakes, and it was 99% ass.

However, it would seem that it just Keeps Getting Better – I got pointed at this link today:

It alleges that Brent Spiner is joining the cast, to play … (I wish this were not true.. it hurts my brain even to say it) … to play the grandfather of the dude that built his character Data from Star Trek TNG.

I mean, I’m a Star Trek fan and this endless bollocks gives me the shits. I wish Paramount would just let this particular franchise have a rest. Stick a fork in it, guys. It’s done.


Stupid Corporate Tricks

I responded to a tender request easlier today at work. Nothing weird about that, it’s a common event, but this particular one was an eye-opener. Now, most Requests For Proposals (RFPs) are slightly anal about responses – you need to make sure that you accurately answer all their questions, and ensure that you meet the terms of the offer, etc. But this one … well, you had to reply using their specific format. And not exceeding the space they’d provided. And best of all, ONLY USING THE MS WORD STYLE THEY APPROVED OF. And any variance from this would result in the response being rejected.

I mean, what the fuck? I’m all in favour of processes, but if you’re in business, you need some flexibility, or you’re losing out on useful stuff. I can see the petty bureaucrat who wrote this taking special care and great passive-aggressive joy to respond to companies who don’t meet his arbitrary and anal requirements…

“Yesss, your proposal is timely, comprehensive, very aggressively priced, backed by solid customer references and overall is utterly perfect for our requirements and service levels …. but I’m afraid you wrote it in Times New Roman, and we’re strictly a 12pt-Verdana business. So sorry! Thank you come again! Next!”

Fuck that shit, Silent Bob. If you let something stupid like a font choice[1] or document margins or other ephemera detract from what actually matters, you’re really not doing yourself or your company any favours.




[1] I make an exception for MS Comic Sans. Aliens could offer to make me[2] an omnipotent sex god superbeing, and if they made the offer in writing using Comic Sans, I’d still have to think about it.

[2] …more of…

Willy Nelson in Tin Foil?

Every so often, I come to the conclusion that the Internet has made me knowledgeable about weird-ass fetishes. No matter WHAT you’re into, I think, there’s probably a web page with support forums, or a complete webring, that deals with it.

And then people point me in the direction of stuff like the Roy Orbison In Clingfilm Site which is by a dude who finds it arousing to read and write stories involving wrapping Singer/Songwriter Roy Orbison … in cling-film.

This sort of thing reminds me that there is no plateau to people’s strange sexual kinks. No final point at which you no longer raise an eyebrow.

Being jaded is a path, not a destination.


and I were discussing Suicide Girls and the following exchange took place:

Annette: “I think the girls on SG are _too_ nude for me.”
JSR: “How can someone be _too_ nude?”
Annette: “I want, like, 40’s porn! I want to see a cheeky little bottom on a girl on a bike! I don’t want to see anything .. squidgy!”

I guess we won’t be splitting an SG account, then. 🙂


Best. Spam. Ever.

This was waiting for me in my mail this morning. It’s reproduced verbatim.

“You dont know me but my name is %SET_USER_NAME . My friend and I were at a party the
other night and I saw you there. I asked who you were and was told your name was %SET_TARGET_FIRST_NAME .

I really wanted to meet you that night, I thought you looked like a really nice guy and that you were good looking too 😛 I had to leave the party so I asked my friend to get your
email address for me and she did. I hope %SET_TARGET_ADDRESS is right! I would like to meet you. I hope to hear back from you :-)”

I’m damn well going to mail %SET_FILTHY_FUCKING_IDIOT_SPAMMER_JUST_FUCKING_DIE back immediately! She sounds HOT! I am DEFINITELY going to score, here!



Annette just IM’d me to tell me that she has been threatened with “the wrath of the prophets” if she doesn’t change a grade she gave a student.


The thought of someone menacing her has actually FILLED ME WITH RAGE. I can hardly type. I’ve had to correct twice the typos in this post that I normally have to correct.

She won’t tell me who he is, so I can go and Have Words with him. And maybe bring some Hired Goons to assist me.




P.S. Bah, stupid Auckland, never has the services you need.

P.P.S. Seriously. Really. Really. Angry.


So, annettle an I went to the Circadian Rhythms gig at the K Rd ballroom last night. A couple of live bands – The Syndicate and N.U.T.E – who were pretty good, in a Live, Local Goth-Industral kind of way. Chris tells me that N.U.T.E’s stdio work sounds nothing at all like their live show. Which is odd, but then Studio Magic is an awesome thing.

I had to take Annette home sometime after midnight, but I went back (living close to everything rules) and stayed through to closing at 0300 or so. A good time was had by all! I helped Chris and the sound guy from the ballroom pack up their big PA and power amps and crap. Chris did very well carrying one end of some big speakers down stairs, given that at the time he was wearing a very fetching electroluminescent skirt covered in bondage rope attachment clips.

The CR guys seem to have approved my request to DJ for an hour at the next non-live CR gig. Which is pretty great! I was worried about my lack of skillz on the cd-deck-vinyl-emulation-platters of steel, but given that last night the pre and post live bands DJ’s managed to keep a full dance floor despite the fact that they’d forgotten to bring any headphones, and the cd track numbering was wrong, and thus they weren’t beatmatching at all but did all their mixing using guesswork as to what track was actually cued (based on the “time remaining” display) and used no control other than the crossfader … I think I’ll manage okay. I’ve even got a playlist worked out. I might have to go visit Chris and Helen and run through it on their decks.