So, they’re making a movie of Hellblazer, one of my favourite comics.
“Excellent!” I thought. Then I remembered the recent Punisher and Daredevil movies and I had second thoughts. And they were “…or, perhaps, it’ll pretty much suck!”
So, I go find out what’s going on with the production.
Two words: Keanu Reeves. Three more: Set In America.
“What The Fuck?” thought I.
But now I have seen the trailer. And it is The Suck.
Based solely on the sixty-second teaser trailer, I am prepared to state that black-haired, american accented, Keanu “Solid Oak” Reeves is UTTERLY MISCAST in this sorry-looking ballsack of a film. He just doesn’t fucking carry it off. He is NOT JOHN CONSTANTINE.
If the producers were looking for a “name” actor for this, they should have hired Ewen McGregor who (a) can act, (b) is from the right part of the world, and (c) apprently actually is John Constantine, which is a strong statement I know, but as evidence I offer this picture:
Where do these casting decisions and story alterations come from? I’m guessing Satan Himself has a hand in it.