Month: April 2002


I found out today that a friend of mine has given the following names to her three kids, over the last few years:

Chelsea Usvi?i Jesgwa Misty
Elle-Mae Sha’awee Celtic
Quantum Einstein Xanadu

(Note: The ? in Chelsea’s middle name is a glottal stop)

I .. have nothing else to say about this.

Not Very Good At Doing Things.

Okay, I really have a find a new job. I am, amazingly, actually getting slightly bored with just sitting around the house playing video games all day. Time to start searching for real.

I was in Wellington this last weekend, for InternetNZ business. I presented a small proposal at the stategic meeting (that InternetNZ should sponsor, or at least co-ordinate) a technology incubator. The council shot me down, bigtime. I shall quote one of the council members, who said (this is true) “InternetNZ is not very good at doing things.”

Never a truer word was spoken. I will not be standing for council again.

Hilarity on the plane ride back, also – sat next to the sleaziest, sluttiest hooker ever. She had been flown down from Auckland to see a client (who must like ’em sleazy). She was wearing black hotpants, a tight top with cleavage down to her navel, knee-high black leather boots, and a fake fur fabric coat over all of this. She had that worn, hard, slightly bruised look that long-term prostitutes sometimes get. Anyway, after telling me and the other guy on the other side of her what she did for a living, she offered to take me into the toilets and let me do whatever I wanted, for $250. I declined.

(Annette would kill me. And she was way WAY too skinny for my tastes in women. And besides, an AIRPLANE TOILET? I can hardly maneuver enough in one of those to take a piss, never mind gettin’ freaky)

So she asked the other guy. He declined. Then she pouted. Frankly, I was surprised that she didn’t wander the airplane aisle, asking random guys.

She was SO sleazy, she almost achieved a certain beauty. If I was a movie director, and I rang central casting and told them to send me over a sleazy hooker, and they sent THIS girl, I’d pay them a bonus.


I was about 40km north of Masterton when the caffeine kicked in.

Annette was asleep beside me, and face drifted in and out of focus. I wanted to stop, and kiss her…. but this was bat country….

Of our trip down, I will only mention the detour off State Highway one, which was closed for roadworks (Oh yeah, easter weekend, that’s when _I_ would have done roadworks heavy enough to CLOSE THE DAMN HIGHWAY) and so we drive off the highway, into the middle of some countryside, where there’s a sign that says “Detour ends” … and THAT’S FUCKING IT. Am I back ON the main highway, AFTER the roadworks? Hell no, I am FUCKING NOT. I am, in fact, in the middle of FUCKING NOWHERE with ALBINO MUTANTS playing the DAMN BANJO.

Time to take another toke, and look at all these GOD-DAMN BATS!