MonthJanuary 2010

..and back again.

Pippin, the missing cat, has returned!

She was gone for over two days, and returned filthy, covered in biddy-bids, upset and weak (she couldn’t jump up on the bed) and with some blood on her face.

My current theory is that she was up a too-tall tree that was far enough away from our yard that we couldn’t hear her meows, and it took two days for her to eventually freak out enough to get down.

She’s going to the vet this morning for an inspection.

We’re pretty glad to have her back.

Cats, Kids and Collars.

Annette burst into tears today over the still-missing cat. And so I was staunch and comforting and patted her on the back and said, “I know, I know” and I was all noble and looked into the middle distance, as one does.

She’s just gone out to post her Nut And Bee orders before we go to visit the midwife today, so now it’s safe for me to burst into tears as well. So, I’ve gone ahead and done that.

This is how upset we are over one of our cats being missing for a day or so. A cat that has a collar with our contact details on it. Seriously, what the hell … how will we manage when we have a CHILD who will want to do its own thing? We’re going to lose our fucking minds.

No wonder I thought my parents were crazy. I’m pretty sure ALL parents are crazy.

Come home Pippin. We miss you. And as-yet-unnamed baby? You may get a GPS-enabled collar, I suggest you get used to treating it like a fashion statement.

EXPERIMENT: Honey Soy Chicken Chips

HYPOTHESIS: That Honey Soy Chicken Chips will taste AWESOME and be SWEET like the PAIN of my ENEMIES.

EXPERIMENTAL METHOD: I will EAT the fuck out of these CHIPS like WOAH.

SCALE: A scale will be used where if you ATE an ASS and then POOPED it out of ANOTHER ASS that would be “1”, and if MORPHEUS just told you that green shit that THE MATRIX was made out of was actually FLAVOUR and your mouth was NEO then that would be a 10.

RESULTS: I GIVE these chips AROUND a 5.

CONCLUSION: Honey Soy Chicken chips are OKAY.