MonthJanuary 2009

Awayyyy!

Annette moved to the edge of a sheer, icy cliff and paused a moment, surveying the battlefield below. Even at this height, she could hear the noise of the Lich Kings’ undead forces clashing with the combined might of the Alliance and the Horde. She thought back on the countless quests that she and JSR had triumphantly completed, on the friends they’d made and the friends they’d left behind, and she thought of the tasks yet to come. One day, Arthas would surely be defeated and Azeroth would be made safe once again.

Shaking off these thoughts, she summoned her mighty steed to her side. In one motion, she leaped onto its back, and hurled herself forth into the cold air of Icecrown.

Where she went wrong, I reckon, was that she really should have made sure she had summoned a flying mount.

I did manage to fly down .. very far down .. to her corpse and cast a resurrection spell. After I finished laughing.

More like iFAIL amirite?

My iPhone has started being normal volume in the left channel, and really quiet in the right channel. This behaviour persists through several sets of headphones (and headphones perform normally on other audio devices) and through a complete iPhone restore, including firmware.

I .. I think it’s actually … broken.

Can apple stuff actually break? Is that even allowed? Isn’t the iPhone supposed to be some platonic ideal of a cellphone, casting a shadow on a cave wall and this producing all other cellphones?

I guess I’ll be contacting AppleCare.

Traslated Lyrics: “Did a lot of coke, voted for Thatcher.”

As I write this, Annette and I are watching the 1989 Eurovision Song Contest, which I acquired because I thought it would be funny.

It is.

There are hosts, and singers, and cutaways to video clips which showcase various participating countries. You’ve probably got a mental picture of a these things which you may imagine is an absurd cartoonish parody of the reality. It’s not. It’s probably quite accurate.

The opening act was Celine Dion, wearing a skintight blue leather pantsuit[1] with big shoulderpads. Her hair was feathered. That’s just plain old fashioned nightmare fuel.

There’s a lot of the stage and various props which have their edges outlined with neon. Neon edges were quite the big deal in the 1980s.

The english voiceover/narrator guy just said “My wife is down in the crowd, probably sweating in the heat. Uh .. I mean “glowing” of course.” … was this an attempt at humour? Or an unfortunate extemporisation? We may never know. It fails either way.

There’s a lot of leather jackets cut wide at the shoulders, with big pads in. I actually had one of those, back in the 80’s. If I recall correctly, when I was wearing it, it was AWESOME. But many of these people just look like they’ve dislocated both arms.

The Norwegian band members are wearing suits that look like they either made them themselves, or stole them from particularly large ken dolls or circus monkeys.

The Portugese band is totally insipid, but they do have a Keytar, so that’s slightly redeeming. The backing singers have shoulderpads so vast that there is some danger that as they wiggle, they may put each others eyes out. The drummer is wearing the skinniest of ties. I had a skinny black leather tie in the 80s, but again, mine was AWESOME. This guy looks like he’s eaten liquorice and then drooled.

You know what, each group that comes on is cheesier and more dreadful then the last.

I occasionally look back fondly on the 80’s because of bands like The Cure and The Smiths and the fact that the 80’s was the last time my waist was significantly smaller than my chest, but actually watching entertainment from that era, especially this particular piece of eurocheese, reminds me that bits of it were really quite shit.

It’s better dead.

[1] Seriously.

…and in the darkness bind them.

So, we bought our wedding rings yesterday.

They’re being resized now, and will be ready in a week or so. Annettes was not so bad, but mine needed to be resized to an absurd level to fit the mighty paws I use to scoop salmon out of rivers and to bash down the doors of remote lighthouses in order to inform small boys that they are wizards.[1]

We’ve both opted for very plain bands – Annette’s is gold, and mine is white gold. So she gets to make references to it being her own, her precious!… whereas I am stuck with being a white gold wielder … and frankly, no-one wants that shit.

Wedding starting to seem much realer now.

[1] They’re never actually wizards. I just like to mess with their heads.

Best. Business. Plan. EVER.

Todd Peters, VP of marketing for the Windows Mobile Division said that while Microsoft was looking into beefing up WinMo’s features, its strategy for the new year was to limit the number of devces using the OS.

Right now about 140 cellphones use WinMo. Peters said Microsoft is hoping to shrink that number in order to not “have its efforts diluted over too many devices.”

You want to put to put the almost hilariously terrible Windows Mobile UI onto less phones? … I highly approve of this excellent and shrewd business plan. Get to it!

I think you’ll find it’s actually “GNU/Linux” …

So this morning I put on a pair of jeans and some sandals, as it’s quite warm currently. This resulted in the following conversation:

JSR: “Do do you like this look? Am I rocking it?”
Annette: “You .. look like you should have a favourite linux distribution.”
[Pause]
JSR: “I have a favourite linux distribution!”
Annette: “And you should grow your beard out.”

Population: Tyre

Mid afternoon today, I phoned my friendly and excellent mechanic (since he’s now back from holiday), and I said “I’ll bring the car in tomorrow morning, it’s started sort of juddering and wobbling a little bit, and the juddering increases with speed. I’ve checked the tyres and I don’t see anything weird.[1]”

On my way home late this afternoon, I am ignoring the wobbling and (as is my custom) singing along with songs on my phone, when the following happened:

“I try to discover …”

[judder judder]

“… a little something that makes me sweeter ..”

[judder JUDDER judder]

“… oh baby, refrain … from breaking my heart…”

[JUDDER judder JUDDER RUMBLEJUDDER]

“… I’m so in love with….”

[BOOOM TWAP TWAP CLONK THWAP CLUNK THWAP GRONK THWAP] … [The hyperdrive malfunctioning noise from Empire Strikes Back goes here]

And then I had a hilarious wait at the side of the motorway armed with my spare tyre and jack and jack-handle but amusingly without a tyre iron (oh my sides) until the AA dude showed up with his slight smile and his infuriating air of casual competence and a whole range of goddamn tyre irons.

Population: Tyre

[1]

“I check the tyres for anything weird.”

“Okay, roll the dice.”

“I rolled a one. That’s good, right?”

Backups. So 90’s.

http://hardware.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=09%2F01%2F02%2F1546214

Journalspace.com has fallen and can’t get up. The post on their site describes how their entire database was overwritten through either some inconceivable OS or application bug, or more likely a malicious act. Regardless of how the data was lost, their undoing appears to have been that they treated drive mirroring as a backup and have now paid the ultimate price for not having point-in-time backups of the data that was their business. The site had been in business since 2002 and had an Alexa page rank of 106,881. Quantcast said they had 14,000 monthly visitors recently. No word on how many thousands of bloggers’ entire output has evaporated.

My own personal web server does regular automated backups of both static content and databases onto a write-only target on a different machine, and the only sites on it are my now defunct personal web page, nutandbee.com (which Annette also keeps local backup copies of), and a site advertising ficticious hamster real doll sex toys[1].

Given that I bother to automatically back up that content (as well as the siteholders personal backups), there’s so much fail here on the part of Journalspace, I cannot even express how gobsmacked I am over it.

Mental note to never hire anyone technical who has “Journalspace.com” in their resume, even if they just worked there making coffee and/or cleaning the floors.

[1] Seriously.[2]
[2] Don’t ask.

Call this the future?

So, it’s now 2009.

Only a year until the time frame of the sequel to 2001: A Space Oddessy.

And I do not have any of the following:

– A jetpack
– An atomic-powered anything
– A robot butler
– A ray gun
– Food pills

Unacceptable. We can do better than this.