MonthDecember 2006

Jump Back

I get up in the middle of the night, full of xmas cheer and xmas chocolate, only to find upon checking The Internets that the one and only James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, the Hardest Working man in Wossname and all that good stuff, has died, aged 73.

The various feeds aren’t reporting why yet, but he was recently hospitalised for pneumonia.

I never got to see him perform, but various tracks of his work, like Super Bad, The Payback, Funky President, Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag, Cold Sweat and the seminal Make It Funky are all on heavy rotation on my ipod.

To quote the man himself …”Huh! Har! Heeeeeeeeaaaaayyyyy. Head for the turnaround (yeah!), Head for the turnaround (yeah!). Aaawwwwwooooooo! Huh, hah, Good God! … Jump back, I wanna kiss myself! Heeeeaaaaaaayyyyyyy!”

Wise words, and ones relevant even today.

The Most Metal

Man, what the hell am I doing sitting around by myself, watching Manowar music videos on Youtube? And then blogging about it?

Also, seriously, Manowar? None more metal. None more gay.

Perhaps New Zealand needs a Manowar tribute band. I can’t be in it, I’m way too fat. Fat dudes can only be in rap groups and True Norwegian Death Metal, and I’m already doing the rap thing[1]. But whoever does end up in the NZ Manowar tribute group (Morgan, I’m looking at YOU) I’d happily offer them the band name “Loincloths and Oil”, free of charge.

Right, off to bed.

[1] Though if the gothic gangsta rap thing doesn’t work out .. as unlikely as that seems … I may be forced to turn to Black Metal.[2]

[2] My stage name would be “Spikë Shïngaards”. The band would be called “Odinspiss”. Or maybe “Angsthammer”. Our first album would be called “Norway Has The Highest Standard of Living In The World.[3] Take Off That Makeup, Put Down The Axe, Get Out Of The Forest And Shut The Fuck Up.”

[3] Yep. Accord to the UN (http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article579769.ece ) that is. Course, on the down side, there’s meatcakes and pickled herring. And Death Metal Bands.