MonthFebruary 2006

Mom’s Spaghetti

And now, a stream of conciousness review of the movie 8 Mile, starring Eminem.

Okay, opens on eminem in the grimiest bathroom since Trainspotting. Everything is lit in green, because that keeps it REAL.

Rabbit/Eminem is in a rap battle contest. He chokes. He’s like the ONLY white face in the crowd, but none of them are kicking his ass because of his REALNESS. They mock him. He leaves, but he’s angry that he choked. He’s sensitive. And REAL.

Okay, so he has to move home with his mom, who is for some reason Kim Basinger. She’s living with someone he went to school with. Haw! He, his mom, and his little sister now live together in a trailer. Quite a spacious trailer, though. Everything here is also filmed in maximum grittyvision. Rabbit seems sad because he has a joe job, and isn’t famous and well-loved-by-all. This seems oddly familiar.

Now Rabbit catches a bus to work and writes rhymes about the urban decay he sees out of the bus window. They’re written in tiny tiny handwriting on loose papers he carries around. That’s pretty emo, right there.

After work, he’s out with his friends. They’re jammed in a car, and are driving around aimlessly. They have a paintball gun, which they fire at people. Rabbit is the most daring, he fires it at a _police car_. Now they’re burning down a house. An empty, abandoned house.

You know, what the fuck is this? Is this the movie trying to be both straight up gangsta’ AND preserve as low-age a rating as possible? They’re doing driveby shootings of cops, but with _paintballs_, they’re burning houses, but they’re _abandoned_ houses. Yeah! ….Stick it gently to someone man-ish! .. Irk tha motherfuckin’ po-lice! …. oh, whatever. On an unrelated note, this seems familiar … guy driving around in a car jammed with friends, listening to music, establishing character…..

Hah! Cameo from Xzibit! Here to Pimp This Movie. Rabbits new girl shows up during this and is so impressed at his battle skills, they have sex right there and then.

So now Rabbit is slowly pissing off and fighting with his friends, one by one. Man, this seems even MORE familiar now, for some reason.

Now Rabbit just broke up with his new girl, because he thought she was sleeping with someone else … actually she was … but mannnn, now this is even MORE familiar and I don’t know why… this is driving me crazy.

Okay, so we’re near the end of the film.. Rabbit has decided he’s had enough, and he’s going to get his shit together, no matter what cost. He’s re-uniting with his friends … there’s the girlfriend as well … now he’s about to go into battle….

He wins! The cocky antagonist gets his well-deserved come-uppance, and Rabbit steals the show and everyone applauds! He is beloved, and the villians depart in disgrace!

AHA! Now I know why this all seemed so very familiar!

If you take 8 Mile and replace rap with humour, you get nothing less than … Waynes World.

Before Camera. Before Action.

There’s something almost magical about lighting a set. You’re transformed from a random scruf wearing a black t-shirt and sleeveless vest (and with one shoe held together with gaffer tape) into a MIGHTY WIZARD.

“Behold! With some clothespegs and gels, I have in mere moments transformed DAY INTO NIGHT! And I can change it back at a whim! BOW BEFORE ME!”

Fake Shemp Plane

Today’s shoot went amazingly well – we actually wrapped ON SCHEDULE which is pretty much not how I thought it was going to go down.

Also, it was a far more organised, professional shoot than I was expecting. Which rocked.

In addition, it’s probably more physical work than I’ve done in any given 12 hour period since I moved house – lots of lighting setups/breakdowns and so forth.

Oh, and (awesomely cool) we mostly filmed inside a big pretend Boeing 767 at the Air NZ Training Center. Pretend plane!!!
And you could like, trigger the pretend oxygen masks and make the cabin speakers go “Bing BOING!” and do announcements and things. What fun! I didn’t even know this existed – it’s a really useful resource to remember if you have to shoot something that’s set on a plane.

Very tired now, though.

Engage-ing

I’ve been watching a show called “Hyperdrive”, a BBC comedy sci-fi show starring Nick Frost (who played Mike in “Spaced”). In Hyperdrive, he plays .. well .. Mike, who is the commander of the Camden Lock, a british spacecraft exploring the galaxy and trying to get alien races to invest in the Peterborough area.

It’s not as immediately funny or accessable as Spaced, but there are a bunch of laughs to be had. Well worth the watch.

The Shooter

So, the vice president of the United States shoots a man. On saturday.

No-one is TOLD about this, ’till sunday. And even then it’s because the owner of the ranch talks to the local paper, not anything from .. say .. the white house press corps.

Even then, on sunday, people are told that it’s a silly accident, only minor injuries, something to be laughed off around the bar of the hunting lodge, ha ha ha, say can I freshen that up for ya’? The owner of the ranch where it happens tells media reps that the victim is “bruised more than bloodied” and that “his pride was hurt more than anything else.” All very jolly, hunting buddies together, jolly pirate nicknames, ho ho ho.

Bruised more than bloodied. Remember that phrase.

So anyway, it was announced today that the chap shot by the US Vice President has today had a heart attack and that the cause of this heart attack was … birdshot from the shooting which had lodged in his heart.

LODGED….IN. HIS. HEART.

If there’s any kind of Guinness World Record for, like, “Worst Bruise Ever”, and it doesn’t go to this dude, then he has been robbed.

In between Lights and Action

Okay, so, the way-high bidder on the camera auction that I lost sent an e-mail to the seller after the completion of the auction which said (paraphased):

“Best Wishes To You, I am Unmumbaga Zuranguma from Nigeria and I have won your auction, all power to mighty Jesus! Please forward the goods to me in Nigeria, and once they have arrived, I will surely pay you with moneys in full payment of debts, praise be to God and best of wishes to you my new friend.”

And so, that sale has been, like, voided big-time. And the seller came back to me and we agreed on a fixed price which I am very happy with. Barring any incidents with shipping and whatnot, I am now the proud owner of a Canon XL-1 and various accoutriments and paraphenalia and accessories.

W00T!

So, now, I plan to shop around for good deals on:

– A Tripod
– A Wide-Angle Lens
– Some lens filters
– A couple of lights and some diffusers
– A small, simple design (offset weight) handheld steadycam rig
– A collapsable 1-man camera crane rig

I am also considering dolly + track .. but I suspect that I may have to make do with a steadycam rig and a skateboard.

Now it’s time to go work on MORE STORIES FOR SHORT FILMS!

Oh my friends, you are going to have to ENDURE some truly awful video for a while. 🙂