MonthAugust 2005

Hugworts

This, as far as I can make out, is how Hogwarts breaks down:

Gryffindor – The Heroes!
Slytherin – Evil!
Hufflepuff – We Have A Stupid Name!
Ravenclaw – The Other One!

So, like, basically Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are the “filler” houses, there to round things out so you don’t just have a spy vs spy situation, with only students in the dining room either sitting at Gryffindor table and studying hard and being good of heart and having glowing auras of noble .. uh .. true-ness, or sitting at the Slytherin table and twirling their moustaches and say “Bwaahahaha!” and strangling kittens.

But I suspect there must be more to Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.

I think they have secrets, ancient and dark, unfathomable by the mind of man. Secrets best kept quiet. For ever.

That’s the only damn reason anyone would want to keep the house name “Hufflepuff” anyway, and not campaign and lobby constantly to change it to “Flamestrike” or “Hugeloins” or something.

Doom-ed

Just watched the trailer for the “Doom” movie.

Item the first: Hell is not involved. Instead, there’s some stuff about viruses and suchlike. So, then “DNA and shit .. and now everyones a zombie.” Not really Doom at all. More .. oh .. what’s the word… Resident Evil. Yeah, that’s it.

Item the second: We’ve already established that it’s not One Guy vs Hell, which is what Doom the game was. It is, in fact, One Guy vs Mutants. Except, no. It’s not one guy. It’s a whole team of guys. With names like “The Kid” and “Sarge” and .. fuck .. I dunno .. “Big Dave” and “Pirate Spanks McGee”. It’s a whole TEAM of army fatigue wearin’ guys, invading a space installation, killing fast-moving things with guns. It’s what would happen if “Aliens” got “Resident Evil” pregnant, and then gave it thalidomide.

Item the third: In the trailer, there’s some gameplay-style FPS scenes. Yes! You can pay $12 to get the experience of _watching someone else play Doom_! OMG, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP, WHERE CAN I PRE-PAY FOR THIS SHINING CINEMATIC GEM BEFORE IT IS STOLEN IN THE NIGHT BY ACROBATIC BLACK-CLAD MOVIE BURGLARS!

Item the fourth: Presumably due to some sort of error, Uwe Boll is NOT INVOLVED in this movie in any way.

Weaponised

I’ve just finished reading a book called “The Weapon” by one Michael Z. Williamson. I purchased this book solely on the recommendation of the author of the webcomic Schlock Mercenary which is on my list of daily reads.

“The Weapon” can best be described, I think, as 2/3 Sci-Fi/Military/Special-Forces Procedural (in the same way that CSI and CSI:Miami and CSI:Mos Eisley are Forensic Procedurals and Law and Order is a Legal Procedural) and 1/3 Libertarian rant about the upcoming opressive UN world government and how all truly free individuals are going to have to take a stand to be rid of it.

I greatly enjoyed it. I’ve just ordered another book by the same author.