MonthMay 2005

I have just seen Episode III

* SPOILERS *

* WELL, NOT REALLY. I RECKON EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS *

* BUT JUST IN CASE YOU’VE JUST COME BACK FROM LIKE .. THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN OR SOMETHING *

* THERE ARE MAYBE SPOILERS *

* SO WATCH OUT *

I liked it. I liked it a WHOLE lot more than Episodes I and II. I liked it more than Jedi, I think. It’s re-watchable. I shall see it again.

However, it’s definitely a flawed work.

I simply _never_ got into Hayden Christensens work in this movie. He’s simply not a very believable actor in this, or either of the other two. I haven’t seen any of his other work, so I don’t know if it’s him, or the way he was made to act, but Jesus, he’s terrible. I can’t belive that _Poe_ actually PRAISED his acting in this one! Really wasn’t working for me.

Oh, and for fucks sake, it’s 2005. You should never, never, NEVER use the “Someone shouts ‘NOOOOOO!!!’ while the camera does a pull-away.” bit of cinematography in this day and age, unless you’re taking the piss. This actually happens at a juncture that is meant to be serious and emotional. I laughed. Out loud. I wasn’t alone.

While we’re talking about that scene, Darth FUCKING Vader should NOT … EVER … walk like Frankenstiens Monster. You think I’m kidding? Go watch it again.

Palpatine’s prosthetic wrinkly-face. Pretty much looked like he was wearing a $2.99 “Evil Star Wars Emperor” latex mask, obtained from Mike’s Discount Costume Shop (Renn Fairs a Speciality! Ask about Discount Doublets!). I mean, the other stuff I didn’t like could be argued as stylistic preferences, but this special effect was simply cheap-ass. No idea why it was allowed into the final cut.

On the plus side:

Ian McDiarmid. Oh man, he _stole_ this movie. STOLE it. He’s GREAT. Even behind Mr Plastic Potato Emperor Head Face, he’s _excellent_.

No Jar-Jar. Well, a cameo. No speaking at any time. Nice.

Some very nice transition of tech from the last couple of movies, to the start of Episode III.

All in all, enjoyable. I don’t mind having spent money to see it. That’s a LOT more than I can say about the last two.

Homer the Homocidal Maniac

I just watched Season 16, Episode 19 of The Simpsons … and fuck me, there was a Johnny the Homocidal Maniac shoutout in it.

There’s a scene towards the end where Homer is taken up to Heaven by the rapture. He’s shown around the place by an angel who tells him “The best part of Heaven is .. anything you wish for, you _get_! Lickety-Split!” And Homer says “Hmmmm” and then stares intently at the angel for a few seconds … whereupon the Angels HEAD EXPLODES! And then Homer laughs, as the Angel instantly grows a new one. The Angel then says “Okay, just for that, your room is next to the kiddie pool. Alright, Mr Smartie Head-Exploder?”

At which point, I was pointing at the screen like an Evil Monkey and saying to Annette “Was that a fucking JTHM reference, in the FUCKING SIMPSONS?”

It CANNOT have been pure chance.

Unexpected Happy!

Don’t Mess With Cats

To Hell with John Tamihere.

I’m not normally a very political person. My political views are .. centrist, I guess.

I’m no right-wing nutjob, there are a bunch of things that I think the government should do, and a bunch of services that I think the government should offer freely and fund well enough to do a really good job at. Health, Education, and Law Enforcement being three. Despite the fact that I am well-paid, and aiming for “affluent”, I don’t even mind forking out considerable tax dollars to see these things done. (As to how well they are currently BEING done, that’s another story.)

I’m no filthy leftie nutjob, either. There are various things that the government is involved with, and which it does, which BOGGLE THE FUCKING MIND. Various arts projects (NZ on Air, NZ Film Commission) and suchlike .. man, I don’t have ANY IDEA why the government would even begin to feel that it should be running these things.

Anyway, as such, I typically pay zero attention to which of the major political parties is in power. The current lot (Labour) has been doing a mostly acceptable job of late, and are (based on polls) generally well thought of.

However, they have in their midst one Mr John Tamihere, MP for Tamaki Makaurau. The “Honourable” Mr Tamihere recently got spanked by his Caucus for giving his honest opinion about his fellow party members, his party, and (bizarrely) Jews and the holocaust to a journalist in an interview that he claims he thought was “off the record”. The journalist in question then printed them for all to see.

Which is, of course, merely funny. That shit doesn’t make me angry. Personality politics that doesn’t actually cause harm, is all bullshit. NZ politicans, if you’ve ever seen a meeting of the house, is full of painful, adolescent points-scoring bollocks which, when viewed by adults, is merely wince-worthly and embarassing. The only time you should really be ANGRY at a government is when it does something like causes tens-of-thousands of civilian deaths for reasons which turn out to be cold-blooded premeditated lies. You know. Just as an example. Not thinking of any current US administration in particular.

But I am angry at John Tamihere, and for a totally non-political reason. It turns out that when he moved out of a house in Henderson (near where I used to live) he left his two cats behind, to fend for themselves. The SPCA found them, without food or water, eleven days later, after a neighbour alerted them.

I don’t care strongly about politics. You can not vote, or vote for the other guy, or start a new political party, or rise up and overthrow the damn state, depending on how strongly you feel and what kind of people you’re fighting. Politics is a consensual illusion created by people, and people can look after themselves.

But to deliberately abandon your fucking cats to maybe starve to death, or go feral, or whatever … that is beyond cold.

To hell with you, Tamihere.

Shine A Light

On this date, in 1776, Adam Weishaupt founded “The Order of Perfectibilists”. It was later renamed “The Order of the Illuminati”.

A big “Happy Birthday!” shoutout to mah illuminatd homies.