MonthJanuary 2005

To Blandly Go

Sheesh.

I’ve just read this on slashdot:


“TrekToday is reporting that Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis will guest-star on the season finale of Star Trek: Enterprise, to reprise their Next Generation roles of William T. Riker and Deanna Troi.”

I stopped watching this boring-ass show in the middle of season two, and admittedly I have been told that it has gotten better since, but come on … MORE stunt casting? Brent Spiner wasn’t enough, now you’re getting Frakes and Sirtis onboard as well? Pleeease stick a fucking fork in it, it’s done. Hey! You can probably still get William FUCKING Shatner to show up, if you try!

I would NEVER have thought I’d get to sincerely state that I stopped watching Star Trek because it was sucking so much, but that I go out of my way to never miss an episode of Battlestar Galactica. But amazingly, this is currently the case.

‘casting

Podcasting is:

(a) The new blogging
(b) Another nail firmly in the coffin of RF transmitted broadcasting. And good riddance! Fuck you, homogenised lowest-common-denominator bland-ass commercial radio!
(c) Full of Awesome

Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring

I issued several UN[1] resolutions directed at the sales team at my place of work, which they have chosen to ignore. This has regretfully forced me to take a course of action which should only ever be used as a last resort. I have determined that the time for that last resort .. is now.

The recent cellphone antics by the sales team (including the infamous “Polyphonic MIDI Version of the chorus from Eminems ‘The Real Slim Shady’) have, on behalf of the entire rest of the office, given me no choice but to act.

I realise what I am about to announce will not be a unversally popular decision, but I stand by it. No-one, least of all the free people of this office, wanted recent conflicts to escalate to this level, but we know from previous conflicts with the Sales Team that any deterrents we have will only work if sales, and all the enemies of freedom, know that we are indeed prepared to deploy them.

As at 1530 hours today, I have therefore changed the ringtone on my cellular phone to a mp3 of Raffi’s “Bannana Phone”. Furthermore I have set the ring to “Loop” instead of “Play once”.

Let Freedom Reign.

JSR

[1] Unwanted Noise

WWOW

From my ICQ log:


JSR: “Looks like we might FINALLY be getting that radio station frequency”

Annette: “Hey, Neat!”

JSR: “”Alliance FM! Rockin’ Stormwind from the Keep to the Mystic Quarter, 24×7!”

Annette: “OMFG NERD!!!”

My beloved, so supportive. 🙂

JSR

This One Time, In Arathi

WARNING: WORLD OF WARCRAFT NERDERY AHEAD. NON-WOW GEEKS, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

So, like, Annette and I are wandering around the Arathi Highlands looking for various exiles that she needs to kill (and loot charms from) in order to finish one of her _innumerable_ warrior-only quests, and we run over a hill and come face to face this level 31 undead rogue who’s just finished killing this poor level 29 alliance guy, right in front of us.

And he stands there, all PvP activated, his name tag all green and shit. And we stand there for a few seconds going .. “Did that Hordie just kill one of our side, right in front of us?” and then he RUNS and I DOT the hell out of him, and then smite him a couple times and he dies horribly, because we’re both lots of levels up on him. And we’re all like “Taste the BITTER FLAVOUR of JUSTICE!” and then we wander off to keep killing these exiled elemental guys.

So, a few minutes later, just finishing combat with a random raptor (if you’ve been to Arathi, you know the ones I mean – they’re all over the place up there) and suddenly pow, the same undead rogue decloaks behind me with a nasty-ass backstab, poisoned blades and all. And it _hurt_, right? Even though I’m much higher level than him, I’m a priest, and I had no defences up because Annette was tanking the raptor, I was just watching and flash healing if required.

So this guy has tracked us from one side of the region to another, just to extract his TERRIBLE revenge – except as soon as he starts stabbing, I put up a power word: shield, heal myself, DOT him, and then do a psychic scream … and he runs, right, he runs RIGHT INTO A GROUP OF ABOUT THREE RAPTORS, who proceed to use him as a chewtoy while we HOWL WITH DERISIVE LAUGHTER.

Ahhhahahahaha!

Ah, I guess you had to be there.

Like Billboards Made Of Sadness

It’s not that I get spam, I’m used to spam, I have technological filters in place to catch most of it, and I’m very good at scanning a screen of mail and grabbing non-spam items out of it.

It’s just that the content of the spam paints such a FUCKING BLEAK picture of humanity, you know?

Cheap Meds. Fake Rolexes. Low Interest Mortgages. More porn than anyone could ever want, ever. (including “Virgin Teen Sluts!!!” … virgin sluts? I mean .. no offence or nothing, but if you’re a virgin … you suck at being a slut.) Pyramid schemes. Reuben and Clay downloads – CHEAP!

Is this actually what the global spamnet has decided has the very most appeal to the most people? Fake watches and Clay Aiken and Vicodin?

It makes me sad. I don’t want to live in that world. I may have to set up a spam service that floods people with spam offering Truth and Beauty and Elegance and Justice and Harmony. That’s spam that people WANT to see. The virgin sluts best step aside.