This … Is … HEADSPAAAAT

I see that knave, that scoundrel, that villain Isaac “Thruppence more an up goes the donkey” Freeman has stooped to the very lowest levels in his continued claims on the Head Spat.

If the desperate gibbering of my esteemed compatriot were made corporeal as actual Head Spats, they would be thought of as barely worthy of the name, having more the aspect of a crude sack-cloth with which one might wipe night soil from ones perriwig, and being conveniently located for this purpose.

Conversely, my own would be spats acclaimed as fit for the nobility, all craft’d from shimmering samite, bedecked with gems and most cunningly wrought.

The Head Spats of JSR, gentle readers, are spoken of in hushed, awed tones. The lower classes tell stories of them, and sob into their small beer and cider.

Surely Michael Drayton spoke of my Head Spats with these words:

About which lodgings, tow’rds the upper face,
Ran a fine bordure circularly led,
As equal ‘twixt the highest high’st point and the base,
That as a zone the waist ingirdled,
That lends the zone a breathing, or a space,
‘Twixt things near view and those those far over head

8 Comments

  1. I don’t know this ‘Isaac Freeman’ (if that’s his real name) but I perused his journal to find out the nature of the HeadSpat. I find his drawing and argument very compelling. Maybe if you had an illustration too your argument would garner more subscribers?
    It’s a great name btw, whomever actually came up with it.

    • Mr. Freeman is indeed much celebrated in the area of artistry, illustration &c., and is also prone to committing witticism.

      I thought perhaps the two might be able to co-own the term, but then vexed myself by being unable to decide whether “Russell and Freeman” or “Freeman and Russell” sounded better. Verily I find myself torn in my loyalties by this spate of headspat spatting.

      • Perhaps we can combine them into a joint entity[1], called Freeman Russell?[2]

        [1] Perhaps that’s their secret power[3]?
        [2] Or Russell Freeman, being either a cover identity, or a strange plot twist, or an evil twin…
        [3] Then they/it/whatever are superhero, and can have a Head Spat.

      • How about “Frussell”? Or even “Frussellman”? The ‘Frussellman Headspat Theory’ sounds pretty important.

    • I meant to tell you about Isaac’s cat Tui, who is black and fluffy with a little puff of white fur under her chin 🙂

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